Unstructured Mutterings...

Obama

2008-11-05T14:05:00.004+05:30

From CNN. I agree with him. Dude deserves the rest.
After 20 months they still won't let him? This is because he is black rite?

Time heals

2008-10-29T17:53:00.004+05:30

all wounds. Or does it? "Forgive and forget" is a thing of the past. "Forgive, Forget and stop caring" is the new mantra :).

I employed it once.

At World's End

2008-09-10T16:38:00.003+05:30

Follow the end of the world in twitter.

This should be fun :)

New member in the family

2008-05-26T17:42:00.002+05:30

He is called "Blackie". Poor fellow. Want to call him "Bothunni" personally but he was named before I got a chance :(.
Dude is hyperactive and very friendly. More friendly that one would want him to be.

This is going to hurt just a little bit

2008-03-21T12:43:00.003+05:30

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with
my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against
hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line
or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life
most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and
drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve in your head that
you aren't being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it's all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only
they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one
hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you
do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget
that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn't because he then
coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a
horse's hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it's all over now and after
all it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good
condition when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won't have to go to the dentist.

- Ogden Nash

Hmmm

2008-02-25T17:52:00.004+05:30

Things have come to a state where I have to check my friends blogs which links back to here to get the URL.
:(

Quote of the day

2007-12-15T18:49:00.000+05:30

We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
-- Linus

From here.

OpenMoko, Quo vadis

2007-11-16T18:15:00.000+05:30

05/11/2007 - OHA releases Android.
16/11/2007 - Harald Welte leaves Openmoko.

Heh

2007-11-14T13:31:00.000+05:30

Couldn't resist making a post after the last one.
:)

I love me.

This blog is dead...

2007-11-14T13:28:00.000+05:30

...for now.

RIP.

Happy B'day Hrithik

2007-01-10T12:48:00.000+05:30

Many many happy returns of the day :)

But please, not another Krrish.

Dogs

2006-11-28T13:40:00.001+05:30

27112006067, originally uploaded by anvimal.

27112006069, originally uploaded by anvimal.

Noticed these guys the day before yesterday while riding my bike. When I saw them today while returning from office, I thought I'll pay these dudes a little visit. They were quite unperturbed around me and after a while started getting quite friendly. Since I vividly remember one of their distant relatives sinking his teeth into my leg, I left quickly. Maybe one of these days I'll try to be more social with them ;)

PS: How do I post a set of photos from flickr, but to the same post in blogger beta? Any clues?

Updates

2006-11-20T18:25:00.000+05:30

Wanted to post for a long time and that too life was quite happening and could have easily have filled up quite a number of pages. But then it was too happening to let me actually post anything. I guess a lot of things are of the past to be posted and others I have consciously avoided from posting.

Want to change the look and feel of the blog. I am getting bored by the look. Added a couple of links of the blogs that I visit regularly as a mark of respect. 'Sir's' should be in the 'Favorites' category, but I guess I feel too close to him to take it out of the 'Friends' category.

I have decided that I like short stories better than novels. Those things finish before they start to tire you. It's much better than reading a book and realizing that you are reading it because you have bought it rather than for the love of reading it. In case of short stories you can reach a logical and final conclusion within say 30 pages and then you can start the next one at your leisure. And the new one is in no way related to the previous chapter so that the reading experience is complete in a single session. I had such tough time finishing 'Lajja' (that much touted peice-o-crap by Taslima Nasrin) .She could have written a history book with all the atrocities done to Hindus (not that I was unaffected by what was written) in a chronological order and that would have made a better impact.

PS: I bought a Nokia N80 :). Feeling happy about the purchase. Got myself a 1Gb memory card and transferred nearly 200 of my favorite songs to it. The best part about it is that when you are traveling, you can switch the phone to offline mode and use it as a music player alone. This way the battery stays for a longer while. Cool :). Tested it yesterday and found that it could last for nearly 5-6 hours. WOW.
One more thing, the default headset that comes with the phone or even if you purchase a hands free for the phone (I lost the one I got with the phone :( ) isn't quite good while listening to music. Use a normal headphones with the adapter provided with the kit. The sound quality is better and louder in the latter case. Enzoy :).

An update for "Updates": After posting the latest one, I got the option of switching to blogger beta. Comments on the latest looks welcome :)

Ramblings...

2006-10-04T16:47:00.000+05:30

Am updating my laptop with the latest Windows/Norton updates and after half and hour it’s only 47% done. This gives me a lot of time to kill. The obvious solution is to blog.

Before attempting blogging I did try to download and install a few stuff. Then I realized that due to the top speed Airtel GPRS connection is giving me (that would be close to 2-3 kbps, yeah you read right, 2 frickin’ kilo bytes per second) I would not be able to do anything else. Sending mail using Gmail included :(. So this post would ideally have a lot of incoherent ramblings, cribs and expletives. Please stop reading if you have anything better to do.

You have been warned.

So where was I? Yeah, trying to download Firefox extensions. Now I have to say, Firefox is an amazing browser not because it is standards compliant or secure. Well, these are the major reasons. But what makes it so special is the way you can enhance the functionality and customize it to something more than a browser. This is done using extensions. My favs here would be Tab Mix Plus, Forecast Fox and Flashgot. Flashgot is of no use at home thanks to the amazing download speeds and again of no use at office as I run Linux there (no Flashget). But still, during those days when I used XP at office, I was quite happy with Flashget. There seems to be 1856 extensions as of now and still counting. So yeah, I would have obviously left out some of the other amazing ones. Drop me a line if you are using any.

The other features I like the most are

The ability to add search engines. Wikipedia, IMDB and Websters. What else do you want?
Live Bookmarks. This is the best thing that happened after sliced bread. (Rant: Kiron has still not enabled Live Bookmarks. Darn that fellow). I could go on and on about Live Bookmarks, but I guess the audience is tech savvy enough to understand what I am trying to say and this would turn out to be a boring exercise.

So that rounds up my Firefox review. Would make new posts as and when I find new tidbits.

Back to blogging, I found an amazing blog. I am not able to visit it regularly, thanks to my hectic work schedule. Do check it out. And this one is pretty good too. Amazing style of writing. I wanted to forward this to one of my friends as I was pretty sure that she would like it a lot. Unfortunately (for her, hehe :)) we were in the mid of a spat and I decided that I wouldn’t. Guess this post should take care of that

Okay. Frickin’ XP wants to restart now that the update is done. Frickin' guy won't stop until I actually do it :(. This is why I recommend Linux. I guess I am done too.

PS: Visit this link when you have the time and bandwidth. Let me go and dream about a state when I have lots of both simultaneoulsy :(.

New link - FOSS.IN

2006-10-03T11:15:00.000+05:30

New link has been added for FOSS.in. Visit the site for all details.

The link, including the html code in its entirety has been flicked shamelessly from atulchitnis.net as I was not sure of the location of the image which was to be used for the purpose. ^C ^V rulezzzz :)

Update: You can actually do away with the actual key strokes like ^C and ^V if you are using KDE. Start using klipper and configure it to "Synchronize contents of the clipboard and the selection". From now on simply selecting a few lines would immediately copy it to the clipboard and a middle click would paste the most recent selection. So clean and efficient :)

Wistful dreams

2006-09-03T12:14:00.000+05:30

Life sucks when you start putting reminders to call your mom. Sigh :(

Yeah, it has reached such a state and to think that I thought I had the perfect job in hand. Everything about the new place was amazing. The people, the kind of job, the challenge, the SALARY. To think that I completely switched over to Linux was another feather in the cap (or crown, or whatever it is)

It just lacks one thing and that is LIFE. Life seems to be ebbing away from me and fast. The people here are very good and extremely brilliant when compared to the previous company. I don't have to repeat twice or explain in 'idiot's lingo' what I mean. May be just that the place lacks vigor and energy of the previous place (and babes :)). I never thought I had fit in the previous place. I was not at all happy with the college campus feel of the previous place where work was treated at par with studies in a college. It always came last. I used to wonder why they had cultural fests and stuff. We were there to work damnit!!! Maybe I got used to the place so much that I am missing it now. :).

I had so huge hopes about the new place. Everyone here meant business. Work had the highest priority and everyone was good at it. But for some reason I find myself cracking up. It's been two months and I am not getting used to the place.

I have two distinctive traits. One is that of a perfectionist and other is that of a lazy bum( raised and fed by the previous company. Darn). I guess what now happening is a tug of war between these two. Who'll prevail in the end is quite certain. I just need 'ego' to get into the game ;). But till then I guess I'll be on fire.

Sigh. I thought I had the perfect job which would motivate me to be at my best. On the other hand, may be I'll learn how to be self motivated from this place.

Trying to get the perfect job is like trying to catch tomorrow I guess. You come as close as a second away from catching it and then realize that it's another 24 hours away.

A beautiful post...

2006-08-07T00:01:00.000+05:30

here.

Priorities

2006-07-30T03:32:00.000+05:30

Quite some time since I’ve been away from the blog world. Life has become hectic and like something that I’d hoped it would be after I joined the new company. Too hectic that I am not getting enough time to make those regular calls to my mom. I had gone through a phase while I was at Infy during which time I thought that my relationships are getting affected due to my commitment to work. It was a hard time as I could realize the problem yet was helpless about it as I did not know how to deal it. The same old creepy feeling has resurfaced. The thing is I don’t know what to do about it.

The new place is good (that might turn out to be an understatement, keeping my fingers crossed :) ) but I am feeling rather uptight there. Knowing myself I know that it would take me around 3-4 months before I get settled here. The work seems promising and challenging at the same time.
The setting is perfect and is in accordance with my wishes - I’ll have to work hard (basically break my bones :) ). I’ll always have a sword hanging above my head. I would be doing a ‘do-it-yourself’ kinda job.

This is the kind of work I wanted to do since I don’t know when. Whenever I envisioned myself working, it was a late night setting where I’d be working on complex lines of code, breaking my head over it. This is what I wanted so badly and it is right on top of the list of my priorities.

Damn it! This post was intended as a crib of how I fear my relationships are getting affected because of my job and look what it has turned out to be. I know that I haven’t returned a call to one of my friend for the last 3 days and there was nothing I would do about it due to my work schedule. Though second on the list is my relationships, I am able to do nothing about it ‘cause damnit it IS second in my list superceded by something far more important to me. Not that I want it to suffer but I don’t know what to do. Guess I have to give things some more time.

And while on priorities, one other thing that I’ve been thinking these days is about my future. I know that the decisions that I make today will make or break my dreams that I have for my tomorrow. Irony is that I never had a well defined plan for my future. It was something obscure like ‘being the best at what I did’ say 10 years down the lane. A fat paycheck would be a part of that deal and so I was pretty happy with my plans. I am reconsidering my above said dream these days. Would I be happy with that? Maybe 5 years down that would be enough. Being the best, getting a fat pay check (and hopefully a post of technical architect or something like that).

Would I like to be in the same shoes say 10 years down? The current priority list might help me achieve my short term goal. The long term goal would be something along similar lines but for my own company. An obscure image of doing something on my own (like floating a startup, say) pops up in my mind :).

Sidenote: You make/loose connections as you move on in life. Some people whom you see regularly in your day to day life and are taken for granted suddenly ceases to be a part of your life when you are no longer there any more. The new place gives you new acquaintances. Though you keep in touch with your close friends and maybe never feel the urge to do the same for the others who were mere acquaintances, you still feel a sense of loss. Blues :(

Josephettan's Thengakula

2006-05-22T16:41:00.000+05:30

I hate it when people write cryptic posts. This is an attempt to write one myself. This post has nothing to do with anything or something. The post is whole in itself. Anyone trying to find a motto in this post would be shot and anyone trying to find a reason would be hanged. Any similarities are strictly coincidental. All said and done, let's begin.

Josephettan…

[Please wait… need to ^C ^V some stuff from else where]

Josephettan associates thengakula or 'bunch of coconuts' with the most enduring memories of his life. This is because once by chance it happened that thengakula fell on Joesphettan's nadumpuram. Josephettan cried "Ammmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……………………". Since Josephettan had to endure the pain caused as a result of this incident, it became an enduring memory.

[See this is how posts should be, simple, clear and self explanatory though it deviates from our intent. This shall be addressed soon.]

So the sound of the word stirs something within him… you could call it fear; ayyo's and amme's from the past. Thengakulas falling, from the tree as he tries to avoid them.

Excuse the fleeting sourness that takes over once in a while as the storms and currents of the material world sweeps through the tree and catches on to the thengakulas, in the form of hatred & disdain; both emotional and ideological. [anywhere you want the post to be cryptic, add the sentence above and viola...]

[Fact: That's it. Should leave it at a point where it's kinda hanging, leaving the rest to the readers imagination. Fiction: I ran out of ideas for the next para :(]

PS: Height of Joblessness.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

2006-05-22T12:52:00.000+05:30

Am waiting eagerly for the movie. Movies are one of my few passions (am still not sure whether I can list it down as a passion). They drive me crazy that most of the time I am browsing inside IMDB for info, tidbits etc.

Herez a quote from the movie. Thanks to IMDB for the link.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

:D

One can almost imagine Johnny Depp as the quirky Captain Jack Sparrow mouthing those words in his uniquely swaggering style. The scene is present in the trailer and it came really close to my imagination. My only sorrow is that when I am actually watching the movie, the above line will only bring a smirk to my face while others would be guffawing around. Sigh :(. This is my bit to spread the misery around. :D

While we are at it, herez one more.

Jack Sparrow: [To Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

By the way, James Cameron is back after a long hiatus with Battle Angel. The bad news is that they are anticipating a 2009 release :(. What the heck, the master is back and I am expecting one hell of a show :D.

I think I am cool. I know I am sexy.

2006-05-17T16:36:00.000+05:30

Unfortunately none of the 103 friends in my ‘orkut’ friends list seemed to share the opinion. Damn! 103 nincompoops who think I am not sexy. I mean, how could they????

If you are an orkut member, you’d know that on your profile page, in the upper right section your karma is displayed. Now your karma that you observe is what your friends think you are. There are 3 type of karma’s trusty, cool and sexy. Well, this post is not intended to be a guide to orkut features, so here is the link. Read yourselves and be enlightened.

Now, the frustrating part is that atleast 3 blokes in your friends list need to assign you some karma (be it trusty, cool or sexy) for it to be displayed on your profile. After a couple of months in orkut, the other 2 (irrelevant) karmas were displayed in my profile but not the one that I so badly wanted. And all that it required was the same blokes who thought I was cool or trusty also assigned the the third friggin’ option that was just beneath the other two. All it would have cost them was a simple click with their mouse.

Is it too much to expect 3 of your friends to show at least some sympathy on you and assign you a sexy tag. Am I asking for so much here? 3 is not such a big number right? One, two, three that’s it. That’s all that’s needed. My wait went for eons (like 4 months) hoping that someone would take pity on me. No one did. I was ostracized :(.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures.

I coerced one of my colleagues who happened to come to my cubicle (I also made him join my community hehe). One down, two to go.
Next I called up one of my friends (one of the easier ones:)) and forced her too. Two down, one to go.

Then I called up Tata Indicom Customer care and blasted the support guy for not fixing the broadband issue. I needed this badly so as to force my room mates who are also there in my friends list. Two unrelated things here

Broad band is still not up :(
Never sign up with Tata indicom. They are the worst. Their customer support sucks big time!!!

So here I was perilously close to be being labeled as sexy. Then when I checked out my profile yesterday, there it was, 7 little hearts near to those blue cubes. :). One friend of mine did think that I am sexy.

This post is dedicated to that unknown friend. The one who I did not have to force. Who by himself thought that I was sexy.

Conclusion: I have one idiot for a friend in 103 (Come on, 102 guys/galz thought otherwise ;) ). That’s less than 1 percent. Not bad rite :). But he/she is the friend I truly cherish.

PS: The title is taken from the intro song of Shawn Michaels, the WWF superstar. Cheesy I know, but suits the occasion :)

How to make your Philips DVD player 'region free'

2006-05-09T15:55:00.000+05:30

This post contains the information for Philips DVD Player model DVP3007 only. For other models, please google :)

Instructions

Press "System Menu" key to enter Set Up menu.
Move to "Preference Page" using arrow keys to the left or to the right.
Press the following sequence in the remote control: 135566
A menu indicating "Region Code" will appear.
Change region using arrow keys to top or down. Region Code = 0 will play all regions.
Press "System Menu" key to exit Set Up menu.

Source - http://www.videohelp.com/dvdhacks.php?select=Philips+DVP+3005

This was actually a part of the previous post. Decided to post a seperate post so that I wouldn't have trouble finding it later :)

F1 F1 Help Help

2006-05-09T15:28:00.000+05:30

My spending habits are going through the roof. The current and previous credit card statements are enough to make my mom unconscious. I had put a max cap on the money I would spend via credit card to be 3000 bucks per month. Last month I only paid thrice this amount and this month it’s just double. So much for my stern decision :(.

Anyone who has any tidbits on how to control your credit card urges, please advice. I have almost become a beggar after paying the dues this month but does that stop me from making unnecessary purchases? NO. Bought another book today – Freakonomics. I don’t know what’s got into me. Every month I spend money on books and that too knowing that I have more books that I can possibly read in the next 6 months. The current list is as follows

Cosmos
The Wings of Fire
The Sea
Shantaram
The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Catch 22
Memoirs of a Geisha
The World is Flat
My experiments with truth.

There are a couple or more I guess and now add to it Freakonomics. The worst part is that I have this stupid resolution to not to read any other book till I am done with the ones that I have already started. Currently I am stuck with 'Cosmos' and 'Wings of Fire'. Thankfully, I have managed to complete 'Tipping point' and 'Lajja' and now I am confident that I will be able to slog through the others.

And now comes the list of movies that I wanna own.

BladeRunner
Godfather Collection
Shawshank Redemption
Schindlers List
Pulp fiction
One flew over the Cuckoo's nest
Usual Suspects
Fight Club
Sin City
Rashomon
Reservoir Dogs
Batman Begins
Seppuku (Japanese???)
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi
The Shining
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
To kill a mocking bird.
The Incredibles.
Rear Window
Raging bull
Taxi Driver

Maybe one of the blog readers might take pity on me and gift me a couple of these, I hope :).

Done for today. Am writing an entry on the people who influenced my life in a positive way. But that’s taking a lot of time. Maybe some other time.

An unemotional article...

2006-05-08T11:15:00.000+05:30

here.

God knows how people can write such stuff. Unemotional is not the right word i know. Pardon my knowledege on thesaurus.

I can't think of a title. Seriously!!!

2006-03-18T20:30:00.000+05:30

Just had a brain wave !!!!I can start sequels to this post like I can't think of a title. Seriously!!! Part 2 and so on. One less headache:). I always thought that my creative juices are stagnant (that was pretty bad rite:)). May be I under-estimated myself. The fact that I cooked up a totaly inane title for a post and that I am gonna follow it up with even crappier titles makes me happy. Yeah!!!

I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!
- Courtesy James Cameron

I guess finally the dam of my creative juices have burst open (yuck that is even worse, but no pun intended) and it's flowing like there is no tomorrow (that doesn't make any sense, but what the hell).

Now to the usual boring stuff - It's been ages since I had blogged. Life has been so-so. Work has been so-so.I guess it's time to move past my usualy introspective self and do something. Not that introspection did not help. It did do quite good to me. But I think har cheez ko koi na koi limit hotha hai.

(Shah rukh Khan appears)
Shahrukh - Naa ji.
Me - Naa ji???
Shahrukh - Aye sun...
Voice - Airtel introduces....
(damn, that was the worst. i'll have to try hard to beat that one. but as the management gurus say, it's all about continous improvement.)

Guess what, I recently read a blog (forgot which one. damnit!! wanted to link it here) which said that it's natural (and for the better) if you wrote crap posts interwined with better ones. See the thing is that perfectionists like me always want to do better than the previous one. Now since lazy guys like me (yeah I am a strange amalgamation of such characters) know that it is hard work, we usually don't even try. Now for me, there are 2 reasons for giving up

I might fail to meet my expectations.
I am afraid that I might fail to meet others expectations (i wish i could say i don't give a f*** . i wish.)

Ths fear of failure stops me from even trying. (dude, this is a serious/important learning. ponder on it) Now this attempt is so that I will bring down my expectations about myslef back to the solid earth and start afresh. So basically by saying that I know that I am making a crap post, I graciously save myself from thi disgrace (????) and the future ones. See the future posts might be earnestly written. But since I have already written up a disclaimer, I have created a perfect alibi for all my mistakes/failing to meet expectations (that's the looser in me talking.)

Synopsis: This post is a crap one and I am loving it :)

There was more that I wanted to write, but a sudden explosion of thoughts in my head suddenly shook me off. More relevations. But forget it. It's time to do something.

This seems to be the most sincere post that I have made. Bringing out the deamons in me. I'll list them down for my own clarifications.

I am afraid of failures
I am afraid of making mistakes
I have a this feeling that I am good for nothing and strive hard so that people don't realize that. This might be the reason that I want to be a perfectionist.
I have fear of people rejecting me.

F***, this was supposed to be a fun post full of crap. Screwed up again being introspective. I need to find a cure for this soon (a girlfriend might help :)). Too much philosophy is not good for my system.

PS: I guess, me not performing upto my expectation in new team might be the reason for this post. WTF, life goes on...

Happy New Year 2006, Touch wood

2006-01-02T14:40:00.000+05:30

2005 was so-so and I was neither satisfied nor dissatisfied with it. Except for a couple of marriages was there anything worth remembering in that year? Seriously, I can't think of any such incidents. I always wanted my life to be "happening". Guess I should be playing a major part in to make it so, but I happen to be too lazy for that. So I expect god to bring twists and turns to my life. Make it complicated so that I have difficult decisions to make. But till date, it was plain boring. But 2006 promises to be different.

The buildup to 2006 was good. It started with my Manager committing that I'd be moved out of the current project and put into the development team. Dream come true for me. Things have started rolling. I am supposed to ramp myself up in the new are within a short period of time. I've been told that the level of expectations from me as one of the top performers in the current team (ahem ahem:-))would be a "wee bit higher" :-).

The New Year started with a bang!!! Lal chettan gifted me with a laptop. Broadband connection has been applied for and would be up in a few days. I now have a registered version of Windows XP and Office XP(grinning from ear to ear :-)). FC4 has been installed and and is working fine. To top it all, I am getting 1400x1050 resolution without any issues. It rocks!!! I am thrilled beyond words.

Today on my way to office, I sat musing in the bus. I mean things were never so easy for me. Was happy the way things were but there is always this feeling running as a daemon process in your mind - What's gonna go wrong? I had this intuition from long time and it has never failed me (something which I wish would happen). It didn't this time either. So she has finally found her guy. It wasn't as if it was not expected, but still I had hopes...

I don't know why, but I smiled after coming to know about this. I knew that my chances have been trashed, but I kept smiling. It did not leave me for the next 15 minutes, and THAT is rare. So here I am, at the beginning of a new year, waiting. I know that there would be ups and downs. Not only has God has already given me a perfect example about how things would be; he was also there with me to see me through it. Now I sit here unscathed.

2006, I am ready for you. I am sure this would be a great year with a lot of beautiful memories.

Confused...

2005-09-19T22:06:00.000+05:30

The thoughts have been pestering me for a couple of days now. It has become a dull headache today. Now I am even confused as what to think next. How do I find my way from here? Since this feels like I am writing for someone else, I shall start from the beginning (and for my own clarity).

I read 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand and was very much influenced by it. It is currently my bible on how to lead my life. The lady has this amazing skill of influencing minds that people totally change after reading her book. Well, one of my realizations after reading the book, 'Atlas Shrugged' as well, was to form my own opinions, morals, code of ethics, principles etc. I don't have to ape what Howard Roark did. I don't even have to have his same principles. What I needed was the conviction that what I am doing is indeed the correct way of doing things. I decided that I still believed in god for the reason that I wanted to believe so.

Now Fountainhead was a very enlightening book. This got me curios as to learn what else were there in the world. What if there is a different perspective (even though my mind was saying otherwise). One person can't learn everything in a life time. What if she had missed out something? I had to hunt for books, books that would explain things in a different light. The only person whom I could ask such a question was Lal chettan and once while talking, I asked him to recommend to me books that he found interesting (The details are listed in the previous post).

Shit happened to me after I read Ishmael. The experience was simply exhilarating. The author was trying to convey the current situation in this world and the reason how/why it came to this state. Imagine yourselves lying in a cozy bed at 3:00 AM in the morning reading a book discovering a new dimension and all of a sudden someone lifts you up by your collar and slaps you. I had faced similar situations when reading Fountainhead as I could draw parallels with the character of Peter Keating. But more than of a surprise, they were depressing and the same time hard hitting. It does sound quite similar the way I have put it but believe me, the experience that Ishmael gave me was truly unique. Before I digress, let me get back to where I was. So now I have two perspectives which got me thinking. Are there absolutes? Can we take a decision assuming that we know everything? The important point is that tomorrow something else might come into the picture which totally screws up my earlier conviction that I was right initially. Or something that was previously right can now be wrong. What if I had to forgo my principles because of the situation? An eg: follows. This came to mind when I was arguing with one of my friends about principles.

Imagine yourselves taking a principle that you won't bribe anyone what ever the cause. I had to bribe 2 police officials so as to get my passport and this again has contributed to my misery. Now you come across an accident and happen to take the person to the nearest hospital. In the hospital, the doctor asks you for bribe for attending the patient (now, all doctors please forgive me, but this is a hypothetical case and it's not like all doctors are angels). So what do I do now? Do I stick to my principles and let the patient die and live all the remainder of my life miserably hating my decision. Or do I pay up save the guy and hate myself for being in a situation, hate the doctor, hate the whole system, again hate myself for not being able to live up to my expectations, but at least I'd be able to sleep peacefully. So I guess my decision is quite clear, the problem being I am still not able to justify it…

Got the remaining two books - Sidhartha and 'The Stranger/The Outsider'. Have to finish 'Wings of Fire'.

Lyrics for 'Edavamasapperumazha..'

2005-09-19T17:54:00.000+05:30

Movie Name: Makalkku (2005)
Singer: Balachandran Chullikkaadu
Music Director: Ramesh Narayan
Lyrics: Anil Panachooran, Kaithapram, Rifat Sultan
Year: 2005
Director: Jayaraj
Actors: Shobana, Suresh Gopi

Edavamasapperumazhapeytha raavathil kulirinu kootayi njaan nadannu
Eravinte nombaram poloru kunjinte thengalen kaathil pathinju
Theruvinte konila peedika thinnayil oru kochu kunjinte karachil
Erulum thurannu njaanavidekku chellumbolidanenjariyathe thengi

Nagarathilokke alayunna bhranthiye peedika thinnayil kandu
Nagnayamavalude thudachernnu pidayunnu choraputhapitta kunjum
Arikathaduthitha chaavali naaykalum oru drishti saakshiyayi njaanum
Ammayude novariyilla aa bhranthi kunjine kanchimmi nokki

Aalambamillathe karayunna kunjinu paalilla paalnilavilla
Ee theruvinnoranadhaye thannittu poyaval novum niramarumaye
Raathriyude laalanakkayi thunathediyarokkayo vannu poyi
Kootathilaro koduthu aa bhranthikku udarathiloruthulli beejam
Udarathiloruthulli beejam

Bharanarthivargangalarum arinjilla udarathile raasamaatam
Ulakathilevideyum thakidam mariyunna bhranathilallayo nottam
Bhranthithan pranjayil peyevisham kutthunna raavukalethryo maanju

Maanjilla manushaa nee cheythaneethithan thelivaayi bhroonam valarnnu
Uduthunikkillatha maruthunikondaval
Garbham puthachu nadannu garbham puthachu nadannu

Avalariyathaval yanjathile paapabhukkayi dhushkeerthi nedi
Ee theruvilavale kallerinju kiratharam pakalmaanyamarjaaravargam
Ee theruvinoranadhaye thannittu poyaval thengunna mounamayi bhranthi

Oru madiyum thudikkunna jeevanum ee kadathinnayil bandhamattappol
Kandavar kandillayennu nadippavar nindhichukondeyakannu
Njaanini enthennariyathe nilkkave en kanniloruthulli baashpam
En kanniloruthulli baashpam.

Source - http://www.pattupetty.com/mal_lyrics/index.php?m=s&lid=20

Anyone having the song sung by the child artist, kindly fwd it to vimal dot narain at gmail dot com.

Soul-mates

2005-09-19T15:09:00.000+05:30

(Inspired by Unni Menon's 'Oru Chempaneerpooviruthu' - OST Sthithi)

Ne'er once have I paused to extend to you,
Ever a rose of the most common ilk
Yet have I wondered how you chanced to know
That the rose of my heart blooms for you
Spreads sweet fragrance, all for you.

Ne'er once did the honey that swells my heart
Escape as words that your ears longed to hear,
Ne'er once did I wipe the dew from your eyes
From the lonely nights, though I was near
Yet you knew, in the depths of your soul,
Every thought of mine, every dream, was of you,
Each look, every breath, all for you.

Ne'er have I sung, even hummed along,
Not a note from the symphony that is 'us',
Ne'er once have I held you in warm embrace
Through the cold of winter's reluctant dawn,
Yet you knew, in every sinew,
That my mind knows yours as you do me
That each thought embraces all of you.

Have I wondered how you chanced to know,
Often have I wondered how...

-Anand Menon.

Source - http://sojish.com

2005-05-29T14:36:00.000+05:30

It's been a long time, but that does not come as a surprise. I have realised that I am growing old :-(. I am 23 1/2 years old. That's pretty old rite? I am old enough to be by myself which means that now I am not a danger to myself. The most dangerous person to a kid is actually himself which is the reason why mothers run behind kids :-).

Well getting back to the changes, the important news are as follows
1. Asha got married.
2. Chithu went to US.
3. Sreelu got engaged (that's today)
4. Jyothish is love struck.
5. Emil is watching porn in US (hopefully hiran will find this blog also :-) )
6. Manju is a comfortable housewife now.
7. Sandeep is coming back from Germany.
8. Hiran mite go to Japan again.
9. Tony is falling in 'love' with every other girl he meets (that holds true for me also :-) )
10. I am bored.

So that's about it. Nothing much is happening in life now, xcpt philosophically. Lan chettan had called and gave me a list of books that I could read. I am jotting them down here as reference. They are
1. Ishmale - by Daniel Quinn
2. Sidhartha - by Herman Hesse
3. Stranger -by Albert Camus

Also needs to read Life of Pi. These days the obsession of owning the book has also increased so that I have it later also if I need to look something up. Talking about Lal chettan, I had read 'The Alchemist' and had no clue on what the book was trying to say. Today Lal chettan spoke to me a few sentances and it made a lot sense. I guess I'll be rereading the book a few more times until I am able to crack it. Fountainhead has made such a huge impact that every book I now read, I am trying it relate it to the philosophy of Ayn Rand.

Am currently downloading mplayer (which is why I am writhing this blog in the fist place - to kill time). These buggers have reverse engineered almost all codecs and now are in deep trouble because of patent infringements and THAT brings me to my current philosophy. Should I be using mplayer in the first place? Previously I had shamelessly searched for a hacked version for my modem driver so that I could upgrade my PC to the next version fo OS. But that violates my philosophy completly and so I decided to buy an external modem even though that would cost me more. It make sense because I usually change the OS in my PC like I change clothes. (Have to try Hoary (ubuntu) and gentoo also :-) )

Am feeling bored, but only 33% of the codecs have been downloaded. Guess I'll signout and drink some water.

From the archives...

2005-05-10T19:10:00.000+05:30

Contents of my previous blog. Am quite sure that the new one will also have the same fate as the predecessor...

Thursday, October 28, 2004
Got hooked again. Not music this time. It's another blog, newbeginnings.rediffblogs.com. I read the entire blog today. From day one to the last one. I must be crazy to do something like this when all the pending work is weighing on me. Don't know why I did it in the first place. But it was one hell of a journey and an enlightening one. One day to cover a range of feelings and thoughts a person went through in one year (it was more than one year, i think). Now that I am through, I am finding it boring. No offence to newbeginnings :-) but still.... It's like reading a novel and enjoying each and every bit of it and then thinking about the whole thing once it is over and wondering whether it was worth it. I sincerely dunno, but I should admit it was one hell of a read as I did enjoy while I was reading it.
Well, since I am writing all this in a text document as and when I feel like doing so, each entry of mine would be spanning a few days. Don't know for whom I am saying this cause the only person who would ever visit my blog would be myself and I intend it to keep it that way. Maybe it would help me understand better when I am going through it myself after a few months or so (if I am still blogging i.e.). The reason I am writing all this is because a couple of days before I started writing this post, newbeginnings had quit blogging. Now today shez come back. Kinda loses impact when a person changes her stand. Ironic that I felt saddened by the fact that she had quit blogging (maybe cause of the reason she had quit). Was even planning to draft her a letter saying that she should get over it. Well, from today's Assertiveness skill class I've learnt that there is nothing wrong in revising our decisions (xcpt that it's kinda limited, you can't keep on revising. but I guess thats understood :-)).
Is it wrong that I mention other blogs in my blog? Is it against blog ethics or something? Do I have to bother about it if no one’s gonna read my blog ? :-) So that solves the problem.
I think I should be stripped and beaten black'n'blue. I mean, here I am at 11:30 in the night, sitting in my office in front of my comp, TO BLOG?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. What the fu*k is wrong with me? Is it that I don't work smart that I end up spending a lot of time in the office? I think its cause I am plain lazy. But then I would happily come to office on my weekends, why? And I did get an individual excellence award rite? I should seriously consider a change in my work. I think I have lost the enthusiasm to continue this work. Should talk to my PM in the next appraisal. Ask him what my options are. And if that doesn't work, guess it's back to job hunting. But this time I would be more confident, but remember to ask Shabeer's help in preparation.
Posted by Vimal Narain on 11:43 PM 1 Comment

Monday, October 25, 2004
Wanted to blog about an incident from the moment I witnessed it. T'was while I was coming back from my home town, in train. Well... this visit to Kerala sucked big time. Very hectic schedule, no time to sleep, didn't get to eat properly for the wedding :-(, over slept and and had to rush to reach the station in time and then came to know that the train was running late by 1 hr :-((. Furthermore, I felt mad at myself for not spending time with one of my unfortunate cousins. Well, on the brighter side, I did have 2 helpings of Palada at the wedding :-D.
After I got into the train, all I could think was to get to my berth and flop down. For some reason I stayed up for half an hour more. The other occupants were quite boring ;-) so I ended up sitting and watching a tamil family. They constituted of a Mom and 2 kids. The elder on was a girl probably studying in 5th std and the younger one in some 2nd or 3rd. They had a problem in which one of their allocated berths was quite far away and the family was facing a situation where they would have to spend the night separated. But the mom had already made arrangements to meet this, ‘cause a gentle man sitting next to me said to her that he would occupy the other berth and allowed her to take his. So all was well and they started settling down quite comfortably. The boy was quite afraid of spending the night alone and his mom was trying to console him by hugging him. I actually felt jealous at him :-) seeing him in his mothers arms, completely wrapped in her loving hands, so close to her. Hoped that I could return to my childhood days when my mom used fuss over me. Well now I am quite grown up and everyone expects me to take care of my mom. Sighhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!. Well then my sleepiness overtook every other feelings and I gladly succumbed to it. Now I understand what Jyothish meant about that slow rocking of the train, almost like you are in a cradle. Never had such a good sleep in the recent days. ell the first thing you have to do for enjoying this is to reserve an upper berth, ‘cause the feeling isn't right anywhere else :-)
The next day I woke up and settled once again in a comfortable location and again started watching this family. The lady had already got up and so had her daughter, but the boy was still sleeping. When the train reached outskirts of Bangalore, the girl tried to wake up her brother. I didn’t hear what the boy said to his sister, but then she turned back to her mother and said that he would only get up if she comes to him. The lady then looked up at her son and smiled. The sweetest smile I had ever seen. I could actually feel her love for her offspring. Pure unconditional love. I have no word to explain my feelings for that moment. Made me shudder at the thought of how I am interacting with my mom these days :-(. But that would maybe make another post, about me the a**hole :-(, this one is dedicated to an unknown family who made my day, a family I have no hope of meeting again, a smile that I would never forget.
Posted by Vimal Narain on 10:58 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Guess what, "Yunhi Chala.." and "Allah ke Bandhe..." are sung by the same guy, Kailash Kher. Here is wishing Kailash all the very best. Man you simply rock!!!!
Posted by Vimal Narain on 08:02 PM 0 Comments

Lately, I have been hearing this song a number of times. It's "Innale mayanguna neram..." from Chandralekha. Dunno what got into me, but now I am hooked. I know that this wouldn't last for long. And another one is "Yunhi Chala Chal Rahi" from Swades. That's no big mystery, Rahman's magic again.... It's amazing how he extracts quality material from normal earthlings. I happened to see an interview with this dude whose sings for that nomad character in "Yunhi Chala..". I have a doubt whether he is the same guy who sang "Allah ke Bandhe...". This guy has done a hell of a job. Should remember to thank god for creating such amazing people like ARR. He's indeed god's gift to music lovers.
I tried listening to a few ghazals after going through Gopu chettans blog, but didn't quite like it. May be it's not my taste. I am hearing less and less of malayalam songs nowadays. It's Tamil or Hindi mostly. Hopefully it will atleast improve my proficiency over these languages :-)
Posted by Vimal Narain on 07:10 PM 0 Comments

Long Day
Wanted to complete that damned test plan. But it's 1:30 in the morning and I am feeling sleepy, my brain is not functioning anymore. Tried drinking a cup of coffee from the vending m/c hoping that it would revive my senses. No luck there... :-( So saved my work and thought I will give this a shot. It would be some time before the next batch of cabs leave E-city and I can get back to the cosiness of my bed.
Why am I so much paricular that there should be no bloody mistakes in anything and everything I do. I never thought that I was a perfectionist, but now after some introspection, I guess I will have change my opinion about myself. Irony is that I always wanted to be one, always dreamed that I could be one, a person pursuing excellence.... and now I am disliking myself for being one :-(
Posted by Vimal Narain on 01:41 AM 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Hello blogworld,
Vimal A Narain has arrived!!!!!!!
Posted by Vimal Narain on 09:50 PM 0 Comments